Stormy Teacups

This past weekend I was in Münster for the European Team Championships. I was there as part of Team Ireland’s WFB force after being recruited at Warpcon back in January. As those of you who have been following this blog will know, this event was the reason I needed to collect a Daemons of Chaos army at short notice (those of you who haven’t been keeping up can read the story of sleepless nights preparing 1400 points of Daemons in a week in the previous seven or eight updates).

So on Friday evening after work, I got on the train for the 6 hour journey to Westfalia and imminent glory. I was pretty well prepared for this, my army had been tweaked after the Four Nations warmup and I felt it would be competitive. Add in the fact that I was playing the current easy-mode army and signs were good that we’d score some points and cover ourselves with a moderate amount of glory. For those who care the list was as follows:

Lord of Change – Level 4 wizard, Iridescent Corona, Spelldestroyer

Herald of Slaanesh – Battle Standard Bearer, Great Icon of Despair

Herald of Tzeentch – Spellbreaker

10 Horrors

11 Horrors with a musician

14 Daemonettes with full command

6 Flamers

6 Screamers

6 Flesh Hounds

The Heralds fit in the unit of Daemonettes and the 11 strong Horror regiment respectively, the Flesh Hounds screen the advance of the Daemonettes and everything else including the Greater Daemon picks off flankers. Ideally, I’d be reducing the opposition to their core units and then crushing them with multiple charges. The Horrors, the Herald of Tzeentch and the Lord of Change would meanwhile be laying down some magical artillery cover to whittle down anything that looked threatening. I love the way that plans look so straightforwards while they’re still in my head…

The tournament got off to the now traditional start of Team Ireland invading my hotel room in the small hours of the morning. I’d arrived at the hotel quite late so I missed them going out on the town and all the pre-registration stuff at the hall. They’d last seen our fearless captain asleep on the grass outside the venue and since then had managed to lose him completely. This could become a problem apparently. By the next morning however he’d shown up and we were ready to hit the tables.

The event itself was in an ice arena (sans ice) which was essentially a large windowless hall. Overhead there were stormclouds gathering and the humidity was spiking dramatically. This meant that the further away from the doors you were, the more unbearable the atmosphere became. We quickly decided on the strategy of being as rubbish as possible in order to stay on the bottom tables which were closest to the doors.

First up we were paired against the Czech republic who set the tone for the event by being very nice and friendly. I heard stories of frayed tempers and some questionable play from further up the hall over the weekend but, for us, the tournament was 6 rounds against  6 very sporting opponents who were all a pleasure to play against. I got paired up against a High Elf player despite my protests and watched a rerun of the Four Nations game where a Sun Dragon and two units of Dragon Princes rolled up my army. I had about 500 points that could affect anything in his army and that was never going to have a happy ending for me. I lost my game 20-0 and we lost the round 100-60 (and only because the tournament rules capped the winners at 100 and guaranteed 60 points to the losers).

Next in line were Norn Iron for an All-Ireland thrillah. I was paired up against Matt’s Wood Elves and revelled in the novelty of having an opponent against which flaming attacks were an advantage rather than a liability. He played cautiously and I punished him for it, only the fact that I couldn’t mop up the survivors of shattered units made the result as close as it was. I won 13-7 but the team still managed to lose the round 95-65. This was also the only game all weekend that my Lord of Change survived.

Our final match for the day was against Portugal and I ended up facing a Lizardman army that was commanded particularly well. My Lord of Change died to Skinks with poisoned blowpipes and the three Stegadons walked with impunity over the rest of my force. Another 20-0 thrashing for me and a 100-60 loss for the team.

I’ll gloss over the events of the evening’s revels to protect the innocent however the highlights were accidentally finding the only gay bar in the centre of town to sit in for a quiet drink and our fearless leader being more interested in recounting tales of 28mm woe than in appreciating the ladyflesh on display.

Sunday morning rolled around and we’d managed not to lose anyone still. Our first matchup of the new day was against Team Scotland and I was drawn against Kevin Finlay and his Vampire Counts. I stopped most of his magic but enough of it got through my dispel dice to cause me problems and prevent me from scoring many victory points from him. Ultimately he ground my army down in the classic VC style and I ended up scraping 2 points out of the game for an 18-2 loss. The rest of the team had fared just as badly as yesterday and we were once again staring at the wrong end of a 100-60 kicking.

Our fifth game of the tournament was against The Netherlands who were mostly drawn from the same club as Team Ireland and Team Norn Iron. Despite having 3 out of the 24 teams at the tournament, the Northern Wasters club was still scrapping over the bottom three places. I was up against a Lizardman force again and, once again, Skinks with blowpipes proved to be the nemesis of the Lord of Change. When you roll a double handful of dice to hit and any 6s are an automatic wound, less than a hundred points worth of Skinks can make the life of a 600 point monster very unpleasant. Another 20-0 kicking for me and yet another 100-60 result for the team.

Finally we were up against Team Croatia and, for this round there was no minimum tournament score so it was vital that we try and salvage some honour here. I was paired against another Daemon army (this one led by a Bloodthirster) and got to watch as Bloodletters, Flesh Hounds and the Bloodthirster itself hit my line like a train. I did some damage but not enough to count and the Lord of Change died to combat resolution late in the game to put any kind of points well out of my reach and my fourth 20-0 of the event. The team didn’t manage to rise above the 60 points target we’d set ourselves and the end result was a 115-45 loss.

In all we came dead last, with 345 points. I wasn’t the lowest scoring member of my team despite four 20-0 thrashings and we had all had a good time so we declared victory and drew a line underneath the event. I had to leave before the awards ceremony as I had a train to catch, unfortunately my overnight train from Münster that would have got me home in time for work the next morning was cancelled and so I spent 3 hours travelling around Westfalia on regional trains and waiting in epic thunderstorms until I could get back to Offenburg to meet the first train through to Villingen. I actually got back at the time I was scheduled to but without having an uninterrupted 6 hour stretch on the ICE to get some sleep. Monday at work was mostly due to coffee and willpower.

I thoroughly enjoyed the tournament despite being well out of my depth and I certainly hope that Team Ireland go next year and that there’s a place for me then.

Pictures of the event are on the official site along with full scores and rules, my pictures can be seen on my gallery page.